Getting Along with Peacemakers

Enneagram Points 9 and 6 and how they are interconnected

Before I got married, I used to study astrology like it was a religion. I wanted to know which signs Geminis were compatible with. I am duality and I thought that I understood all Geminis. My husband and I were doomed because he is a stubborn Taurus.

But astrology did not help us. It wasn’t until my husband started studying the enneagram that we started to understand each other.

A Skeptic and a Peacemaker

My college roommate is a certified enneagram coach so I already knew that I was a point 6 Skeptic. I have a hard time trusting people so it was refreshing when I met Jesse, a sweet, accommodating peacemaker. He is completely trustworthy but he avoids conflict. Very problematic for an attorney like myself. Arguing is a part of my personality. When we got into fights, he would shut down and walk away. I thought that he was shutting me out deliberately. He could not apply the advice to never go to bed angry.

Point 9 sits at the top of the enneagram and is at the center of the Instinctive Triad

I should have understood that my husband walked away because he was suppressing anger. I didn’t understand it because I do not have the same issue with anger. I don’t have a need to keep the peace. But once I…